Thursday, October 29, 2009

Kit Kat...i had two bars today.....

It was horrid.... horrible.... being overwhelmed, lost, unmotivated and depressed.....

My goodness..... i hated every inch and second of it.... but i apreciate what came out of it. It MADE me think, restructure, organize and clear things....nope belum habis...banyak lagi kena buat..its still there. The to do list is very long mind you....

Oh why do i have this boundless energy and ideas in me? Its very tiring.... no its not about being ungrateful.... because i am...3 wonderful kids, a marriage that actually works, a job not everyone can get...(many can do i pessume), wonderful friends and family, enough to eat (a little more than enough), my faith still intact... i realize this....

(im actually taking a break from my assignment, penat perah otak...relax jap k)

Ok... i dont really expect you to read, but if you find my ramblings of any use...please by all means...just dont judge and criticize (wait...people do that unintentionally and automatically so go ahead, just keep it to yourself....but people like talking about other beings..it gives them pleasure and a sense of comfort....so what the heck...go ahead)

Comfort? Yes the comfort zone.... get out of it! Its bad...your hips get larger.... go prickle your life with struggles and uncertaintie like me..... and get frustreated if things dont work out later....OR just stay there.... dont change...dont strugle and live a life of peace and harmony!!!

do the same thing over and over....get the same results...just dont complain. Im young...im ambitious...just let it be..ill mellow down at 40....!

:) gtg and string words together...anyone wanna help?

i know......siapa suruh baca?

Just Take Care ok everbody...and dont be nasty nor naughty.... wait...you get it.....

-Dina-

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I somehow find peace and think well while driving.... my mind wanders off, in out and about ... traffic jams better.... coz then i think about so many things... thats how hectic life is in KL....masa nak contemplate pun tak ada. Wait, thats because i have 3 kids.....now i think well when driving ALONE....terlupa nak selit pulak...Theres no time to sit and reflect sebab dari subuh ke isyak adaaaa jee benda nak buat...... jadi bila memandu, itulah masanya segala apa yang hendak dan patut dibuat terpancar dan menyala-nyala....dengan laju....

Laju...my mind laju.....tapi hari tu....blank...i went blank on air!!! i was like a zombie....that was the effect of stress mind you...(my fren kata, DIna even OPrah has her bad days...) thanks...a lot for trying...but.....oprah does have a good team...a really good team to cover her up...

so, my mind jumps from one thing to another with a snap of a finger.... you know some people are soo organized....semua benda kena tulis.... well technically, phsysicaly yes...the house, the cupboards....but my life? the to do list...and everythings all over...and then i add things to my plate.... my friend said..."thats the problem with you Dina...you dont know what you want".....dari dulu lagi...

Well, we dont HAVE to know what we want kan? jap....jump back to all over...its like bilik professor yang bersepah dan berterabur....JANGAN bersihkan...walaupun berterabur i know where everything is.... if i ever try to be that composed little lady....its not me...when its not me....its dead boring.....

but yes a little cleaning up wuld do good...haha there i go again.... ok to something that has been in mind among others....

Of Iraq and Afganistan and how stupid and helpless we are.... i have always been following the world news, maybe.... to a certain degree Abi influnced this fascination with 'other people and other matters in other countries that has nothing to do with you at all' ... i hate the thought that we are sometime to cooped up in our own litle world, hung up with our own litle views ... masa kecik2 dulu....pagi-pagi when we rush opur parents room, the litle grey radio will blast with BBC news....dulu tak ada Astro... so yes our parents habits do to a certain degree effect us..... and then theres that other habit that i just wont share..... i hear you mas....just shut the door!

Ok.....tadi ternampak dekat berita macamana Obama dok justify perang kat Afgan....kununnya sebab....US memang kena proceed with this war supaya mereka tak akan 'terkena' lagi serangan seperti 9/1...

Haloooooo......knock kncok...whos there...obama? obama who? o......ba ru menag nobel prize tapi hantar lagi tentera kat afgan.....mr obama sir with all due respect....serangan 9/11 telah dirancang di German dan Spain.....dan dilakukan oleh oarng dari Saudi.... berpusat di US sebab marah dengan dasar US yang dok mengipas Israel....

Taliban tak tahu menahu...yang dok bagi duit kat Taliban bukan Us ke......

I have to tke a break....coz my baby is crying and the bigger baby is leaving for Jakarta....let me pack his bags.....

Till then...

WSF 268

think thats a nice number people???

Monday, October 12, 2009

Steal the heart......Safe guard It.....




Some people make their goals the stars,
They may live and die never reaching them,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination,
because they put them in their sights.


I might never reach my star.... i might never feel its qualities and properties in this palm of mind....i can only imagine...the brightness....the glow, the heat.... but i can see it.... and its guiding me... and at times it is dark.... but that shiny sparkle from the star i see..... from people around me keeps me going...... ok.... im doing that again..... rambling to nowhere.... thats just me.. and i love that in me...it makes me ...ME.....

lets take a look at this quote below.....


The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the heart
- Jalaluddin al-Rumi

I deliberately opened up Purification of Heart again.... Its a book i keep at my study table so i can easily reach it, when i feel the heart needs to be purified again.....when i need my heart to be sound again.....

If the heart is sound our actions will be sound....we need to work on our hearts...society needs to work to mend hearts which are filled with diseases.... like other disesases it is treatable...but first we have to recognize the signs and symptoms.... and then we need to treat it...

Says Hamza Yusoff...but just like medicinal prescriptions, the physician cant force you to take it...no one can force u to swallow it down....

"The heart is designed to be in a state of calm.....which is achieve with the remembrance of God. This calm is what the heart seeks out and gravitates to. The heart yearns for it...."

"BUt when God is not remembered, when human beings forget God, then the heart falls into a state of agitation and turmoil. In this state it becomes vulnerable to diseases because it is undernourished and cut off. Cell requires oxygen, so we breathe. If we stop breathing we die. THe heart also needs to breathe, and the breath of the heart is none other then the remembrance of God"


A sick heart needs nourishment.....Heedlessness starves the heart, robs it of its spiritual manna. WHen people are completely immerse in the material world, believing that this world is all that matters and all that exists and that they are NOT accountable for their actions, they effect a spiritual death of their hearts"

Wrongdoings irritates the heart....i feel that...and whenever i do i jump up again..... i just pray for the strength..and no one can give it to me except for Allah.

The heart is so incredible.... it beats 100000 times a day....it pumps 2 gallons of blood per minute and over 100 gallons per hour....that IS an exhausting task...... the heart does this even before the brain is formed.....the heart was created first.....

Listen to your heart and not your ego. Your ego prompts you to boast of vain assertions to obtain the glory of this world. Turn away from vanity and seek Him in the recesses of your heart and soul

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani
[Fayuz E Yazdani]


Lately ive been questioning why things happen the way they did...why me i ask.... at a point of time i actually feel i dont deserve it..... but this attitude is a denial of God's qadar....but should we be happy when bad things befalls us?

God knows whats best for you.We cant choose what befalls us yes.....some are inevitable true.....The prophet went through worse....he never met his parents, hes beloved wife died...so did most of his children..... he was called a madman, a liar, people threw stones at him until he bled...whats that compared to our life? That should always put us back on track again.

..... the response is patience...a beautiful patience, a skill i have yet to master....

God is testing me....., but it is His will and there is wisdom in it.....

Its not that bad i say.........i can still smile and play.....

Alhamdulillah...

LOve,
WSF


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Warning...this entry does not make sense...:)

Its tough...... yes it is.....its life.....
Some get it easy...... some dont...some wants it easy......some just complicate theirs....some keep it simple....some just dont care...some throw theirs down the drain...some...some just let it be...just let days pass......wasting it away..... like old dry leaves.... wrinkled creased, crisp and craggy.....

Theres decisions and then theres actions ....
Theres implications and then theres causation....
Theres things you just want to do...but never get to do.....
And then theres things you dont want to do but .....just do...coz err....u have too??

its not about wanting...its about doing what needs to be done.....
i dont make sense do i.... nevermind...i rarely do..... tu yang mengacara macam budak sekolah tu....

Ada tak orang baca artikel dalam utusan hari tu?
now,now...yes im not the best.... i make mistakes..... i have my moods...sometimes theres so much problems that although i try to hide it on air..nampak jugak kecelaruan tu....

I try though... tapi komen2 yang clearly sebab dengki dan iri hati tak patut disiarkan.... i would think if im a datin or married to someone yang kaya raya, ada pangkat....mesti tak keluar surat mcm tu...

Manusia.....lagi2 kat Malaysia (sebab kat Aussie, serious tak ada penyakit gila gelaran dan harta serta kereta macam ni) if you dont have the money, you dont have the contacts (i rarely send hampers to reporters and meet them nowdays, in fact i never do...theres the problem maybe.....) then they think they can trample on you..... except those who actualy know me, sat down with me.... but i dont have the luxury......

i would and will try to improve...but dont bring me down sebab sakit hati...dengki atau iri hati.. read hamza yusofs purification of the heart.....! WOuld do u, me and all of us some good....... im reading it again now! But wait..... i have my thick textbooks to read...! arghhh so little time....so many things to do.... time management..........any experts out there? coz im seriously desperately need to regulate my time.....

anyway, anyhow.....a scholar once said...dont run away and shun your enemies...for its them who will tell you the truth..... so listen to them.... and i should and shall do just that...thank you....

Yes the world is round.......round...rolling..... so is life.....
the pins knocked by the heavy rolling ball.....
If yours go into the drain..... try again.....